Sometimes, I feel like I’ve been living under a rock.  I realized last year that I never bothered to learn the lyrics to ANY Christmas song or carol (this coming after I failed to lead my bus children into any of them).  I really don’t know what to say.  I’ve been living in Texas for nearly 10 years, but every Christmas time there just wasn’t a lot of opportunities to engage in caroling.  I never tuned to the Christmas stations on the radio.  Even at church, we don’t sing them often enough to get them stuck in my head.  And I never thought it was a big deal.

But I was missing out.

To me, the catalyst that got me started down the path of discovering Christmas music was when I heard the song, “Mary Did You Know?” for the first time.  It completely captivated me in a way no other song had done before.  It became my favorite song, Christmas or not, but when you play the same song over and over again, you tend to yearn for more.

In recent years, I’ve come into contact with people that absolutely LOVE Christmas music, even outside the regular season (I’m thinking of a few people right now who might be reading this).  The more I thought about it (and when I REALLY have to think anything, I become borderline obsessive about it, like it happened last year with vampires), the more I wanted to look for more great songs to add to my playlist.

As it turns out, most Christmas music is wonderful.  It was like a whole new world was opened to me.  My friend Tim first introduced me to Christmas radio stations.  This year, I was eagerly awaiting for the time to listen to them again.

And then I was disappointed.  “Why were they playing these lousy songs?” I said to myself.

Turns out, they are both good and bad Christmas songs.  Your preferences may vary, but as for me, and because I want to put a rest to my Twitter rantings, I present to you, in the total and controversial style that you’ve come to expect from this site, my least and most favorite Christmas music.

Least Favorites

Of course, this is my opinion, and you may not agree, but I found these songs to be completely insufferable for details in which I will go to now:

“It’s Cold Outside”
Music by Frank Loesser.
Performed by various.
My original rant concerned the fact that this song had absolutely NOTHING to do with Christmas time.  Upon further research, I found out that it was just lumped together with other Christmas songs because it was usually played during wintertime.  I still don’t like because it sounds like a couple bickering about nothing.

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
Music and lyrics by Tommie Connor.
Performed originally by Jimmy Boyd.
Performed most famously by The Jackson 5.
First of all, I “get” the song.  I know it’s the dad that it’s dressed as Santa Claus and kissing the mom.  That’s not the point.  Maybe 50 years ago it would’ve been funny for a kid to see his mom kissing another guy that was not his dad.  Maybe it would’ve been a laugh when he told his dad about it the next day.  But if you think about it, if that happened today, wouldn’t the child go through immediate, SERIOUS emotional issues or be scarred in other ways?  That’s just hitting too close to home when most kids nowadays deal with situations where one parents might be unfaithful to another.  Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I just can’t get behind a song that makes light of something like that.

“Santa Baby”
Written by Joan Javits, Philip Springer, and Fred Ebb.
Performed originally and famously by Eartha Kitt.
Also performed famously by Madonna.
Yes, I’m also aware that it’s a “joke” song, giving us a glimpse of what a frivolous woman desires for Christmas as opposed to, say, peace on earth and stuff.  And if you go for that of thing, hey, more power to you.  The melody is what bothers me.  It makes me uncomfortable because it has a decidedly sultry feel to it.  As it mentioned elsewhere, it sounds like something that came out of a ’20s bar, sung by a woman in one of those cocktail dresses completely with bobbed hair, pearls, and a martini, for good measure.  Yeah, I’m okay thanks.

Thankfully, those are the only ones I can’t stand.

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